Dear pre-motherhood me, get over yourself!

There I am in all my amazingness (not), newly acquired bump, and an I know how to mom attitude. Heck, this girl knew how to mom before even being pregnant! So many ideas and preconceptions on what kind of mom I would be and what kind of mom I would most definitely not be! So many terrible moms out there (in this girls little range of experience).  I'm sure there are many moms out there that are just horrible, but some of the "momming" that I assumed was so bad doesn't even fit into this category. So motherhood me would like to tell this girl, "Get over yourself!" Let me debunk a few of my premom notions in this post.

1.) I am never going to let myself look like that!

Um, yes you are. Every last bit of THAT is the image you will take on at times. Disheveled hair, no makeup, needing a shower, etc. You'll exit the house one morning and be appalled at the stench that is forgotten deodorant and sour breastmilk. You will think to yourself, "how did I get here?!" Simple...sleep is > everything! As you lie there with the baby on a fresh sleep cycle you have choices of eat, shower, or sleep. Sleep will win 95% of the time! So rock that crusty! Eventually you will rise above and get back to YOU. 

2.) I'm never going to let me kid _____...

Right.... Just like I thought we'd never use the pacifier, then 2 am rolls around and your little person demands all attention and awakeness (probably not a word) until 7 am. Let me tell you about caving! Day 2 home from the hospital, BAM, paci! BEST. DECISION. EVER. Remember how I told you sleep is > everything? Just keep that in mind for this entire point. I also slightly judged the rock n play sleeper swearers. They told me up and down of its awesomeness, and I turned my nose up! I actually thought that if it wasn't a proper bassinet it shouldn't be slept in over night. (Cue the "really" face) Ha! Again, night two, rock n play. Now there will be some major things you will obviously stick to your guns on, but for your sanity (what little you have left) let the little things slide!

3.) I will not be that hand sanitizer mom!

Give me the sanitizer. Tubs of it. Actually buy stock in it.

Because poop.

Because unsanitary people.

Because all the bodily fluids that come out of that small body.

Ok just to clarify I am the farthest from a germaphobe, but I have my limits. Paranoia of keeping my baby safe and healthy has done this to me. So no don't come touch his hands oh you stranger with your butt scratching hands (and I say that with all the love of Jesus, sprinkled with a mom raging wrath if you step out of line).

* Note: I am more relaxed on this now (two weeks from the first draft of this), but I still respect the clean!

4.)  Psshh I got this, I'm going to go home from the hospital and master the DIY of mommyhood.

Just stop. Really. Some have to do it on their own. That is amazing, props to them. I cannot imagine the difficulty. If help is available, take it. Solicit it. I'm sure the DIY moms with no support system or help are wishing they had what you do. As an unplanned c-section hit me I didn't know how to take care of myself let alone take care of my baby under that duress. I stayed with my mom for 2 weeks while I healed. No shame! I healed more quickly because of it. There are no special awards or perks for being a DIY super hero, so take a breath and let it go!

5.)  I am going to follow all the rules because I do things the "right" way.

I am a rule person. I like them. They make me feel safe. You want to know what doesn't come with a rulebook, play by play, manual? BABIES. Sometimes there is no right way, just a way that keeps you sane and is still safe, and you have to find it. You will, and when you do don't let anyone make you feel bad for it. Sanctimommies are everywhere, ignore their overall perfectness and keep on doing you.

6. ) Six weeks postpartum, I am supermom! NOT!

I have just learned the appreciate the phrase "sleep when the baby sleeps". I have underestimated this whole time what pregnancy, labor, and baby does to my energy and to my body. I think that for some reason I should be able to operate as before any of this happened. No! I will not be able to do an all day super clean of the house by myself for a very very long time, and I just learned to be ok with that. Learn to take small steps. Give yourself some grace or you will go crazy. 

Obviously I am still learning. 8 weeks pp hardly makes me a pro at momming, but I am excited at what lies ahead. I know it won't be easy, but honestly what amazing and absolutely rewarding thing is? Throw out all your pre-mom conceptions because you can't possibly know. Just enjoy the now, and let everything else come as it may.