You Should Have One of These!

DISCLAIMER!! :)

Before you read my story on this particular subject please note that I am not writing it out of a ranting spirit or even because of one single person.  So please, if you have done anything in this post ( I know I am guilty of it) I and many others are not looking for an apology, just an awareness of "stop it" :) . I have never truly understood this subject until now, but here goes. 

Lately, as in the past almost 4 years, I have been asked numerous versions of "When are you going to have kids?". The all so innocent "You need one of these" as a baby is held up, or the "I'm sure your mom/grandmother (any other family for that matter) would love a grandbaby/baby. I understand from the side of the asker that it is usually a genuine excitement of seeing the friend live out "the dream", but from my side and many others it can be a difficult and disheartening subject.

Years 1-3, I didn't really care because nobody could convince me otherwise that I was ready for children. My main focus was getting to know my husband better ;), and just focusing on what God had for my life at that point. I had just graduated college, got married, and barely knew who I was or how life worked with another person (especially financially!). No way was I ready for the type of commitment necessary for a family of my own. I heard it all, "you'll never be ready" or "you'll never be financially ready". So just go for it then? No way!! Maybe the second statement may apply, but the first is a complete an utter falsehood to me because I rarely do anything that I am not good and ready for. I know children are a huge responsibility and I will not fully understand until I have one, but still. Come on... If I say I'm not ready, I'm not ready. The End!

Fast forward to now, year 4 almost. I can say I am ready for whatever happens. Maybe that's just me, but I usually know what I want.  I will let you in on a little secret, maybe not so much a secret as many may know, but Austin and I are letting God do what He does best, which is work in our lives. Now that I am ready for a family whenever it is supposed to happen some of those before "when are you having kids" comments sting just a little. Here it is all out in the open, I don't believe I am easily offended and if I am I try not to show it. When I hear any derivation of this question I begin to question myself and feel just a little bit "less". It is hard because I know how much Austin wants a little one, as does the rest of the world. Knowing this doesn't make it happen any faster! I mean I can't materialize a quick pregnancy just because I want it (maybe shy of drugs, idk, but that isn't an option right now) Many have felt this way, and now I completely understand why. God has blessed us with so many awesome things, people, and opportunities. I trust that He has this also in His hands and his timing, but I am human and a woman for that matter! So we get a little crazy sometimes!

All in all, myself included, we need to be more conscious of how certain subjects affect people. Especially the pregnancy issue. There is so much pressure put on us women to have children that if we cannot it makes us feel like complete and total failures in life.  I for one thank God that I have Him to put my faith and trust in to provide all my needs. So what I am trying to say is tread softly. It is best just to talk about something else. Trust me! If I am pregnant the whole world (including you) will know it thanks to facebook and church chatter :). Gotta love the later :).

Again this blog post was not written fishing for apologies or sad dispositions. I don't want either. Just a better awareness of what goes on in our crazy women minds. 

Thanks for reading my rambles!